, the outside temperature is sixteen degrees, there is a foot of snow on the ground and I'm in my bare feet running for my life. All because I like to...kid around at work. That's right! I was just kidding around and here I am hoofing down the street with my shirt and coat in one hand and my shoes in the other while behind me a voice is shouting, "I'm going to kill you, you little cocksucker."In twenty years, if I'm lucky and still alive, I'll probably look back on this and have a good chuckle.. As I exit the bathroom, I seem to look straight up and across the room, locking eyes with him. Chills course my body once more. With a little bit of liquid encouragement, I strut my stuff as best as I can as I walk by, feeling his eyes follow me. When I’m right next to him, I give him a sweet smile.I get back to my family and briefly mumble, “I’m stepping outside”, quickly grabbing my pack of cigarettes out of my purse; another habit I have that these girls don’t.It’s warm out. I’m standing in. As the years progressed, I found myself in a typical cheesy high school sweetheart type of relationship with a man who was my best friend. I came out to him so many times. All as gay, but he shrugged it off, said "I needed a man to fix me". I truly thought I was broken. He would catch me on Tumblr looking at photos of girls. We ended up breaking up for different reasons and I kept suppressing the thoughts I had of girls – I just thought they were friendship feelings! I never had a lot of ‘girl’. Gertzoffs of the worldseemed to think that if you could only see the problem in its entirety,talk about it incessantly, you could bore it to death. The idea was thatif you could understand why you did the irrational things you did, youcould walk yourself out of the dark forest you'd been lost in all yourlife using the revelatory map-and-light of self-understanding.But just take a look at her situation. True, she had a problem withintimacy, a fear of abandonment so strong that she abandoned.
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