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This one is compliments of Johnnymax, a contrast to the MS Windows joke. a variation came to mind.Wife texts husband on a beautiful day after a fruit ...icking weekend: "Apples driving me nuts, what to do."Husband texts back: "put in cider maker and crank up the pressure."Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer gone flat now."These are compliments Bill LBritish humor as it used to be: absolutely politically incorrect.It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water. Suddenly there was a call on the loudspeaker. ‘Miss Dokic and Miss Rubin to Court 1 in 10 minutes please.’ I knew from that I had to move quickly. I began to unzip her tight tennis skirt but her hand stopped mine. ‘No, I don’t have time to strip. I have to play in ten minutes. I can’t have sex.’ I had come so far and I wanted to have sex with her so badly. I passionately kissed her, thrusting my tongue deep into her mouth. My hands were all over her breasts. They were small, but nice. I gently. ” Thrown back by what she said I was at a lost for words and just had a shy smile on my face. She smiled back saying, “Ok, lets get out of here youngster.”So we left the coffee shop and jumped in her car. She asked if there was a park we could chill at? Having one in mind I directed her on where to go. There was a large recreational public park not to far from the coffee shop, which had a lot of trees, trails and a river that ran through it. Once we reached the park, she parked her car. I love to put Liz through herpaces."Liz gave the guy a playful punch in the arm and said, "Chief here is areal jerk, but I'm afraid he's right. I'm busy tonight; but I'll be hereover lunch, this mob will have moved on by then. Stop by and we canchat."Then in a totally outrageous flirtatious manner she said, "Or betterstill come up to my room and see me some time."With a wave, Mary said, "Alright, I'll try. Bye."Mary walked out and wondered, 'If everyone in town was sex starved.Didn't they.
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