I knew I didnt have a choice, but my frustrations were getting the better of me. I started to cry, softly at first. I put my head in my hands and sta...ted weeping. Shelly, its okay&hellip, its all okay, Kyle said gently as he put his hand on my shoulder. Ill tell you what, well be very gentle, very quick, and you can get back to your night to yourself. Does that sound okay? I started crying harder and harder now. Kyle stepped inside my front door, and put his arms around me. At first I. Perhaps one day, I will be a good enough person to destroy myself for another. But on the porch, with a beer in my hand I wasn’t that cool. The argument I use to console myself is that if I cannot be strong enough for myself, how can I be strong enough for someone else? The thought pattern strikes me as something very much like bullshit. It’s in our makeup to preserve ourselves with bullshit, though. I said that my mistake had lain in, ‘trying to effect a change in someone else,’ but that. I was annoyed by the fact that almost every adult there was really drunk. It was noisy and people behaved like fools. I guess that when you are sober you see things in a different way. Some of the people were making out and I knew that they were not couples, they were married to other people than the one they were half way fucking....My own mother was drunk as well. She came up to me and gave me a big wet kiss and I was so embarrassed. She hugged me and said that I was home early. I pointed out. Esspally now that I am talking to you. We exchange sweet words and giggles. Our conversation leading to more arousing things...picturing in our minds what each other is doing...your voice getting deeper as you ask me what I am wearingi lower my voice and tell you just my lace panties. I hear your mmmmmm at picturing me...I ask you the same. Trying to get the mental image of you in my mind. You whisper...Wearing just a smile baby...smiling at the thought of you lying there naked...mmmmmm...I.
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