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“What would everyone say?” I asked eventually once it became silently clear that neither of us was going to propose the unthinkable route out. “...hat about our family and friends? Some of them know about your vasectomy; you’ve even joked about it in the past. They’ll know the baby can’t possibly be yours.”“You’re right,” he replied. “We could say the operation failed,” he suggested after a few moments. “That my tubes re-joined. It does happen.”“After all this time?” I asked. “Most of our friends. Vi came running from the kitchen, her face ashen and frightened.Mike lunged to grab his beaded medicine bag resting against the chair where he’d been sitting moments before. He pulled out a small pouch. Swinging back, he waited a moment until Graydon gasped for breath. He dropped a large pinch of greenish herbal powder into Graydon’s mouth and forced it closed while repeating his guttural commands again.Graydon went limp.“That poor boy!” Vi cried. “What happened?”“He’s not a boy, Vi!” Jim. .. you'd bloody well better do it or I'llhave you in the stocks before you can blink! Is that clear!?" Yes sir." Is it?!" Yes sir!"Then pick up those ruddy bottles and carry them up to the house! Now!" Yes sir," gasped Ann, rushing over to pick up the first of the heavycrates, her mind filled with white panic."Then come down here and clear up this yard! There's detritus everywhere! Doyou hear me!?" Yes m'lord," muttered Ann, hefting up the crate and staggering with it uptoward the house."Then. The conversation starts getting weirder and weirder the longer he talks and I finally do the metal gymnastics in my head that this dude is or might be gay. I suddenly bring up my fiance' and how much I can't wait to see her (a total lie, just trying to let him down gently). I think we are done talking and make my way up to the restroom and start pissing. Next thing I know this dude is right next to me at a urinal and we are the only two in there when there was plenty of urinals further away. I.
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