How the hell could he resist singing with Muppets -- especially when he was laid up with bandages covering most of his body -- including the part that...planted his seed? Not being able to have the chance to make babies for several weeks was going to be his end; he just knew it was. If only he had not gotten out of bed yesterday morning!He knew the minute he woke up without a boner, and his wife had already gotten out of bed at some ungodly hour for reasons known only to her, that things were not. My parents went ballistic and I got a major beating. As I mentioned myparents were big on corporal punishment for the boys and my father had awooden rod that he used regularly. He broke it on me that day.I thought matters had died down a bit until about two weeks later when mymother took me shopping with her in to town. This wasn't too unusual asshe was operating something of a 'divide and conquer' policy and mysister was at a birthday party.It started off much as usual, me complaining and. I did and said I had a 4:00 appointment.She told me Ms. N had only a 15-minute slot for me and would be lateif another meeting ran long. She buzzed open the glass door andescorted me into an office, where a woman who might have been Ms. N'ssecretary told me to take a seat. Both women wore the same outfit: aruffled white blouse tucked into a black pencil skirt with a rearvent, and four-inch black stiletto heels, very stylish.Seven minutes into my allotted quarter hour, an attractive tallblonde. Vera was at her most compliant to date, but Oliver was angry. When I asked him what was wrong, he complained, "That little bitch! She lied to me and cheated me and robbed me -- the peak of my virility was spent catering to her whims..." Oliver," I said, raising a hand to stop the tirade, "Next week you'll realize that the peak of your virility is still before you and you're merely older and wiser. Remember what she went through and what she was trying to accomplish. Who taught you sex, anyway?".
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