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“Is that what you think of me, that I don't care?”“Why else don't you wanna tell them? You've been against it from the beginning.”“How could...you say that? You think I'm trying to be smooth and keep two women on my arm, really? The only reason I wanted us to stay with them is so no one would get suspicious of us and so we could figure out a logical way to tell everyone, if I knew for a fact everyone would be ok with this I'd tell them in a heartbeat. And I hate the way Stephanie and Chris are. "You came in here looking for a bar last night, but instead of there youcame in here. We got to talking and you were telling me why you wantedto get really drunk. You already had a couple earlier because you hadjust heard back from the clinic that afternoon that after trying forfive years, the chance of you and Kelli ever having any children of yourown was zero. She had very thin uterine walls and you could not produceany sperm at all. You wanted more than a few drinks for yourself beforeyou. He ate with Elsa and the kids and he couldn’t believe how animated their chat was, it was such a good start to the day. His head was beginning to buzz with an idea for that final book and as he put his empty plate beside the sink, he found he couldn’t get out of the door quickly enough. Elsa, who was glowing herself, had laughed and asked what the big rush was. He said that he was thinking about his book. "The sixth and final one?" She had asked, stroking his arm. "Gosh, you've not been this. There will never be a chance to watch your hair grow back. I can’t ever remind you how beautiful you are, even when you’re bald and too thin. I promised I’d remember you like to be kissed gently, with a nibble at the end. Tears burn my eyes as I grieve for the lost chance to wake up next to you. I still want to hold your hand everywhere, at home, in public, during sex and while we sleep. I have so many questions that will have to remain unanswered. This loss, the slow grind of acceptance, is.
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