Children sometimes I think are more resilient to great sorry and pain. Yes, Karen had been with them all of their lives and had merely been in just ov...r half of my life. However, they had their whole lives ahead of them while if I was lucky. I might have at most have another five to ten more years left before I was too old even to hope that I could find love again.Could Caryn be my last hope for love again, but if not, then would I be condemned to a life of being alone?I figured I would have. Knowing this would bring her over the edge. And it did. The tears where just welling out, and she began sobbing and trying to make me understand:"No, I still love you, more than anything else, ssnnrf" she was trying to dry away her tears and speak at the same time. "I wasn't doing anything like that. You know how my mom only works half the amount she used to? Well that has made that I get less money every month and I can't afford to buy all the stuff that I need. So this girl at school.... I cannot guarantee your safety if you won't stay hidden."I sat in the chair facing his desk. "You haven't found Marks yet, have you?" He shook his head 'no'. "I walked all over this city and I didn't find him either. Do you know why I couldn't find him in the Apple?" He again shook his head 'no'. "It's because he is across the river in Jersey and I know where! I want my life back! My life, my office, my clothes, my car, my landlady, everything!" He started to hem and haw, but I wasn't backing. As soon as the lights were out the corridor was filled with the sound of squeaking beds in what I later learnt was a wanking race. Each boy would slap his belly three times to signal his ejaculation, it all only lasted a few minutes!After a week or so, one of the older boys called Mick said he hadn’t heard any noise from my cubicle and did I even know how to wank? I had to admit I didn’t. “Never mind” he said, “It’s time for your initiation and you’ll learn all about it then.” He told me that.
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