"You're making this very difficult," she said."Life is hard," I said. The rest of it had been said so many times before that it just naturally tripped...out of my mouth. "And then you die."She blinked and her face went still."I'm sorry. I didn't think. I didn't mean it like it sounded," I said, reflecting on how there is no better way to put a downer on an otherwise nice night than by reminding a woman of her dead husband."I know." She stepped back. "But you're right." I'll call you this time," I. Still, even as her attorneyembraced her, she failed to grasp that it was all over. She was going toget out ... and then what?And now? Now she went from one town to another, looking for a freshstart, hoping that somewhere, people didn't remember a headline thatread "Lizzie Borden II Freed!" Listening to the outrage, you would havethought that Lizzie had done in Annie and Chuck with an ax herself.People saw her as a killer who had been wrongly freed; few saw her as atrapped animal trying to chew. “Remember, when you, Lois, and I made it? I haven’t forgotten that I asked you to initiate my ass. Could we plan for that? “ She giggled. “I never thought I’d be making dates for specific sex acts, but why should they be different than any other interesting activity?“Oh my. Yes. I just happen to have some time in my schedule this afternoon. Damn. You probably had some difficult times deciding between those pants, or whatever they are, and a skirt that just brushed your ass. With the latter, I. But total honesty requires total trust. It also requires to be comfortable enough with one's own feelings to talk openly about them.As for being able to talk and be open about my own feelings and yearnings: That has never been my strong suit. I have never learned doing that, have never been comfortable with opening up to others. My parents, as good parents as they had been, never had set a good example themselves. Feelings and emotions weren't discussed much in our family. I think I can safely.
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