Oh, I learned all herlessons because there wasn't any way not to, but I neverinternalized them. I left here the same foolishly proud,arrogant asshole ... was when I arrived." You don't look like you've done so poorly. That's a hand-tailored suit you're wearing and those shoes you're wearing costas much as some cars." I've been successful," he admitted. "And many people havesuffered a very great deal for that success. As a result, nicepeople either fear me or dislike me, and the only ones who. I would like to say that I objected right away, but in truth I allowed it go on. I would have liked for it to go on forever. I did, however, eventually break away and object. Celia asked, with the stark naiveté of a child, "Why?" Because we're cousins! First cousins!" What does that matter?" It matters because—" and I stopped. What higher power could I invoke? God? The law? These things seemed trivial. I could cite only my own nameless fear, insubstantial and unarticulated."We never knew we. "Jordan nodded. "Whatever you think is best."This time when Martin took Angel to lunch he let her choose the restaurant and she chose one near Jordan's office where she and Frank had once gone for pie and coffee. Martin seldom varied his dining tastes, so he was surprised to find the menu to his liking."They have great salads here," Angel informed him.Martin shook his head in disgust. "What happened to pasta, don't you enjoy pasta anymore?" Of course Pop," Angel said, "But I love salads. I had to use my brain! I had to think. I had to bring my real life into this.I told him, with as little detail as possible, about how I had finally given in to my boyfriend in the tenth grade. We had been at his house after school and his parents were both at work. I didn't supply any details.Nathan kept after me though. He wanted to know how I felt, how much pain there had been. Did I have an orgasm? What I felt and thought the first time a boy touched me or saw me naked. Then he asked for.
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