Das stoppte ausunerfindlichen Gr?nden den Tr?nenfluss.Ich hatte immer dringender pinkeln gemusst. An der Kreuzung war eineGr?necke mit ein paar hohen ...?schen. Ich hatte mich dahinter gedr?ckt,immer in Sorge, dass der Tracht etwas passiert.Durch die B?sche war ich halbwegs gut gedeckt gewesen. Ich hatteversucht unter meine R?cke zu greifen, aber es war einfach zu vielMaterial. Ich war nur mit den H?nden bis ?ber die Knie gekommen.Dann hatte ich versucht den Knoten der Sch?rze aufzubekommen. Ich. Looking like a veil of fog between the buildings as Iapproached. I checked my watch against the clock tower on our local bank, andglanced toward the oncoming traffic. I stood frowning, in the drivingspring rainstorm as the cars sped past, how easy it would be to end itall by stepping out in front of one. I pulled my collar high, covering my neck from the swirling rain,watching for the bus that would take me away to my empty house. Ifrowned and looked at my feet, the rain splashing the ground. I made myself some tea in my favorite tea pot – the one that had been a gift from a friend in China and returned to the piano just to play. Three or four songs later, I heard a quiet suppressed sneeze from the top of the big staircase that wound from the front of the house around and up – its balustrades overlooking the big old living room. I stopped playing – ‘Hello!’ I said. No response. ‘I know you’re up there.’ You crept slowly into view on the stairs, looking down at me tentatively. ‘Come. Love--I do not understand it. It consumes me, abandons me, beckons me,saddens me, disappoints me, arouses me. But, then, a breakthrough: arealization. Love is an idea; it is not real. Nothing we think orfeel--especially feel--is real.Only the moment is real. The now. The incident and the event are real,but only as long as they happen, for memories, also, are unreal.Very well. Let me explain. Perhaps an example will help. My breasts arereal when their weight is in my hands--or yours. They have.
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