Smooth Jazz played on the radio and I could relax. Finally. After three years of bitching, one could only take so much. Yes I’ll admit I was at faul... to some things. I mean I did look at others, but I didn’t touch. Unlike him. I had a wandering eye for a few women. They just always made me smile in a way he could never understand. It was more natural. More relaxing. I felt I could fall into their arms and sleep forever. I smiled at this thought and turned the music up louder. After 20 minutes. On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 5kgs as promised.He calls the company and orders their 5day - 10kg program.The next day there’s a knock at the door and standing before him is the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life.She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, ‘If you catch me, you can have me’.Well, he’s out the door after her like a shot.This girl is in excellent shape and despite. "Mom, I've got a bit of a problem," I said."What's that dear?" she said, not looking up at me."Well," I replied rather awkwardly, " It's a little embarrassing." Come on Jacob, speak up," she replied rather sternly this time, and giving me a cursory glance. "Well, it's a little personal" I continued again, hesitatingly.She stopped her knitting, straightened up her body a little and looked at me rather seriously. "Tell me young man," she said keenly, "Have you got a girl in trouble?" Er...no. Ellen felt very horny. She picked up her mobile phone and typed a message, "The wood. One hour." She chose the number from her address book and pressed send. She knew that the recipient wouldn't dissapoint. She hopped out of bed and walked to the bathroom. She turned the shower on and waited for the water to warm up. She picked a clean bic razor from the countertop and stepped into the shower. She let the hot water run over her body, it felt lovely. She picked up the shave gel, squeezed a blob.
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