I took money that I had earned mowing grass and after a change or two,slipped into stores to make purchases that would push me further andfurther into...that feminine world without changing me into a copy of somestranger. No, the changes I was after, would only be those as if I hadbeen born that way.A few hours a week slowly morphed into full days when I was able to timethe changes while my father was absent from the house. I got brave too,able to escape into town from time to time and make a few. He was in jeans and a tee shirt. Being only the secondtime I saw him I was wondering why he wasn't in drag like yesterday. Hewas handsome in his own way. Not rugged like Max do to his smooth faceand sculpted eyebrows, but other than that he was a he today."I am not attracted to Sean," Max protested."Oh please he has been drooling over them all morning." What I have only been here twenty minutes." Busted and seriously she has great legs." Will you stop calling him, a her?" Max demanded."Ooo,. No man in his right mind would even look twice at me." She looked down at her glass of beer and than back up at me and said, "God dammit. I am so fucking lonely I could cry." Which she started to do with great hiccuping sobs. Tears ran down her face and she grabbed me and began to cry on my shoulder. I felt like I was being held by a vice."You know that song you been writin' to go with that un-natural guitar he's playin' up there?" I nodded and tried to get loose from her grip. My back was. What a night it was! We went to several bars and we were walking in our drunken condition towards the next one. ?Girls,? I said with closed eyes. ?I think I’m drunk on their strong shit and I’ll go back to the hotel!? ?Okay,? one of my friends said with a sorrow in her voice. ?But are you absolutely sure that you’ll manage to find your way back?? Of course, I understood their worry about me, because it was dangerous to be alone in an un-known place, but I was thoughtful.
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